Just shoot me

To:pippa@weekendbirdie
From:nancy@a-zmodels
RE:just shoot me!!!

Hey you! I've had my contract renewed for the Lovely Legs Stocking Co, Wyoming. Will you shoot it? Money wouldn't be great but it would be so much fun! Hey, good news about Loretta asking me to do The gay guy drinks coffee - an interpretative dance, no? I told her I did Jazz tap from the age of 5. I think that's what clinched it.

*****NANCY*****
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nice for Nance

To:pippa@weekendbirdie
From:nancy@a-zmodels
RE:elle deco!!!

Hey Pip! You'll never guess.....my papier-mâché tea light holders are going to be in Elle Deco! They contacted me this morning for pics and info!

Thanks for believing in me.

*****NANCY*****
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


And I thought they were just a fire hazard.
Well, I suppose what with Yo Beowulf - a shadow puppet cabaret coming to the end of it's run, it's nice for Nance to have something exciting in her life.

Out with the old...

Nancy is moving back in with Pedro this weekend which is a blessed relief. Ludo Jansdotter and I haven't actually discussed it yet, but if he does move in, it doesn't seem right that Nancy would still be there. Their history doesn't bother me, he just has a slightly nervous energy when she's around and she's an incorrigible flirt!

Anyway, I shan't miss her random origami birds cluttering up my mantelpiece, nor her decorative bowls of lemons, nor her growing collection of Jo Malone scented candles - what a stink!

A bad cheese day

Feeling in a melange today.
I've been asked to do a show of my photographs at the ICA later in the year, which is only the pinnacle of cool and will drive Rolf+Margot mad with jealousy, since neither of them has a talent other than thinking up kooky ideas for their pretentious rag. So for that, I am elated.
Unfortunately, physically I feel dreadful. Was sick all night after that Cheese Appreciation class last night. Who invented cheese and wine evenings? Wholly unwise.
Ludo Jansdotter was very sweet; he mopped my brow and stroked my hair. He's really such a kind man.

In other news, Nancy is still staying with me which is slightly awkward with Ludo Jansdotter around so much. She's loopy over Pedro but she still can't help flirting her socks off with L.J. I think he finds it all rather embarrassing.
Nancy and I are starting to rub each other up the wrong way; she always asks such inane questions. This morning she asked me if you can use body moisturiser on your face.
I said "No Nancy; if you use it on your face, your arm will start growing out of your forehead like a Jake and Dinos Chapman installation." She said "Ooh, sarcasm's the lowest form of wit you know!" I said "Well ya boo and sucks to you!" She said "You, you mean!" which made no sense.

Christmas at Kettles

There's nothing quite like waking up at Kettles on Christmas morning under a Couverture vintage quilt! The distant sound of a carol concert drifting upstairs, then creeping down in my 100% cashmere bedsocks (an extravagance, i concur) to find Ma and Pa stoking the fire...divine.

Christmas was lovely. My brother Ptolemy was there with his darling girlfriend Gracie (they were at the RCA together and now run their own furniture design company Ptolemy-Grace, centering on the trad-modern style. Their concrete benches embedded with Victorian flower motifs are in Elle Deco practically every month).

Being at home was a real tonic; lots of late suppers, kippers, cocoa and hot buttered toast. Muddy walks down the lane, hot toddies and sing-songs at the pub. No cocktails, just warm beer.
Nancy's presents went down a storm; my family took to her immensely and treated her like one of their own.

Pa made me promise to slow down a bit and was very relieved to hear that I had come to that conclusion myself. They were all terribly intrigued by Ludo Jansdotter and think he sounds infinitely fascinating. I have very much missed him actually and I think I may have been a bit silly about the whole thing. I'm going to put all this Celine/Tony Novembre nonsense out of my head and just enjoy things as they are for once.

Ho-hum...I am not relishing the prospect of going back to London; Issue 11 and Graziella's tedious sagas. I shall have to put on a brave face.

A Martha Stewart Christmas

Nancy has made us all Martha Stewart snow globes for Christmas. Most of Nancy's stuff is a load of old junk but I dig her enthusiasm and the effort she puts in.
I don't particularly dig the bronze-sprayed willow twigs, adorned with papier-mache reindeer, currently sitting rather camply in the corner of my sitting room. I suppose, at least, it saves me hoovering up the pine needles for the next six months...
...Nancy just asked me if I have any double-sided sticky tape. As we speak she is constructing something involving pressed flowers, gold twine and retro band badges.

Ludo Jansdotter is staying in Helsinki with his family for Christmas so I'm taking Nancy down to Devon to spend Christmas with mine. Her parents are in the US where her mum's hosting the 20th Annual Women's Herbal Conference in New Hampshire.

Oh! We found Mischa Barton by the way. She'd accidentally got trapped in the cellar - can't imagine how. Still, it was nice to stop sneezing for a couple of days.

Oh dear oh deary me

To:pippa@weekendbirdie
From:nancy@a-zmodels
RE:loretta

Lordie Loretta is such a BORE! I’ve only got a small part so there’s no need for me to be at rehearsals 24 hours a day is there? So I’m flogging some stuff round the back of the theatre and she’s like “NANCEEEEE? NANCEEEEE?” and she storms out there with her hobnailed boots and cigarette holder looking all Ann Demeulemeester meets Cruella de Vil and just completely frightens off these poor little Japanese tourists I was selling to.
She needs to get a life, Yo Beowulf’s not exactly Brecht!

Plus she's one of those people who says "Correct" instead of yes, e.g "Can I go to lunch now Loretta?" "Correct"!

Toodles,

*****NANCY*****
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Who's that girl?...Nancy

Brought up by self sufficient parents on a farm in sunny Cornwall, tomboy Nancy was tutored at home.
At 13, she travelled to London to take part in a CND march and was spotted in the crowd by notorious model scout George Pierre Pascal (who was lost on his way to a meeting).

After several high profile ad campaigns, Nancy was sacked after attending an anti-sweatshop march and is now the face (or legs, rather) of the Lovely Legs Stocking Co, Wyoming.

Email from nancy

To:pippa@weekendbirdie
From:nancy@a-zmodels
RE:howdy

Oh you know, modelling and stuff. I’m also making these little balsa wood figurines with rhinestones and things…it’s hard to explain. I think I might sell them on Etsy.
I think I’m gonna take one of Loretta’s workshops, I might try being an actress. I do have presence. She doesn’t still smoke cigars does she? Or those gitanes? She thinks she’s so French.
I’m seeing Pedro, the drummer from The Band With No Name. They’re really starting to break through. You should feature them. They did that song, “When the sun goes in it’s chilly”.
I’m really into this office girl look right now. You should do a thing on it. I have about 12 wrap dresses.
Anyway, my phone's beeping...oops it's my mum, i'm meant to be meeting her for lunch.

Toodle-pip Pip! Haha, toodle-pip Pip get it?!!

*****NANCY*****
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ludo Jansdotter

Ahh, Ludo Jansdotter! I may as well tell you now, I’m a little bit in love with Ludo Jansdotter. We met in Paris at a Pierre and Gilles shoot; he was the stylist. He was going out with Nancy at the time, that’s how I met her.

Ahh…drifted off for a moment there thinking about those loony nights at Le Projet…my silver hot pants. Those were the days.

Anyway, it didn’t last long with Nancy; she’s so flighty and he’s so focused and committed to his work. So much flair and verve. He’s really quite special.
Mmm…I wonder if he’ll be at Cave Spooner’s book launch.

Had an email from Nancy by the way, she’s lovely but she’s so erratic and she’s always suggesting things for Weekend Birdie, which is really rather irritating.