Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Issue 11 Ahoy!

I'm in a flap, Issue 11 comes out today and I've got to dash to the printer and then on to the ICA. Then I've got to get some things for a little soirée I'm having tonight and I've still got to squeeze in some Progressive Urdu revision.

Anyway, here (finally) is Issue 11.



Monday, January 29, 2007

Kettles

You know when you're flicking through the Observer Magazine of a Sunday and you turn to the fashion pages, hoping to see the latest To'sho' tunic dress and instead it's a story called 'The New Gent' featuring tall, angular male models wearing cravats and carrying man bags?
That's Ludo Jansdotter.

When he picked me up to go to Kettles, he was wearing his paisley tank top and orange slacks and I thought 'Oh dear, is this really how I'm going to introduce Ma and Pa to the father of my child?' I mean, I love that LJ's a natty dresser but sometimes it's a little OTT and I don't really want to be the one to tell him that the 1970's pimp look is passé.
However, Pa always refers to me and Ptolemy as 'you arty types' so i suppose he was expecting nothing less.

M&P were very welcoming and asked Ludo Jansdotter very many questions about his work as an art director/photographer/graphic artist/illustrator David LaChapelle-type and seemed captivated (although Ma found his accent a little thick and kept having to say "I'm sorry Ludo, which anorexic supermodel?", "I'm sorry Ludo, which German performance artist?").

After lunch Ptolemy and Ludo Jansdotter played backgammon while I went with M&P to pick blackberries and visit old Mrs Bell down the lane. On the way back I told them the news.
Both were a little taken aback of course as they had only just met LJ but after the dust settled they seemed rather chuffed and when we got back, Pa walked me round the garden and showed me where we used to make camps and have treasure hunts.

The next day Ptolemy took us all off to the farmer's market where Ludo Jansdotter was very impressed with the range of organic preserves and pâté.
Later, Ma spent quite a long time telling him about all the different types of bird that come into the garden. LJ was awfully kind to humour her so and even talked quite knowledgeably about the birds native to Finland.

The day ended with a jolly visit to the pub and a hilarious game of charades which Ludo Jansdotter found infinitely confusing.

What made the weekend was Ma telephoning me after we got home to say that she and Pa thought Ludo Jansdotter was charming and delightful and that they were sure all would be well.
How lucky I am to have been adopted into this joyous and jolly family who love me so unconditionally.


Saturday, January 20, 2007

Poor old Margot

Bumped into Rolf+Margot this morning at the ICA. I was there for a meeting about my upcoming show, they were there for the London International Mime Festival.
Margot's fringe doesn't seem to have grown a millimetre. I can't help thinking she went into the salon with a picture of this:


And came out looking like this:




Email from MdlC

To:pippa@weekendbirdie
From:maribel-de-las-casas@vavavoom
RE:wowy!

pippa
i cannot believe!!!! you crazy lady no? so many news and now who i can drink the champagne with celebrating? maybe you can have some little glass with me and esteban. when you have the baby? esteban tell me good idea for you - you MUST to come to puerto banus in july with me and the esteban for relaxing before baby. esteban mother house very beautiful with big pool and many room for you and big stomach!!!
felicitaciones
besos
bel x

Telling Nancy, Loretta and Natalie

Well, the darling girls were ever so supportive, although Loretta has some concerns regarding work and how I could possibly juggle everything. I told her that I shall just have to prioritise and maybe (though I dread the thought), Graziella will have to take on a bit more responsibility.

Nancy was most excited and her knitting circle, Knit-a-go-go are meeting next week to start booties and such like!

Most surprising was Natalie, who positively melted and confided to me that she had always wanted to write a children's book and that maybe one day we could collaborate.

Well, I do feel relieved.That's Ludo Jansdotter and the girls told. Next weekend I shall go back down to Kettles with Ludo Jansdotter in tow to tell Ma and Pa and Ptolemy. (I imagine Ptolemy will be one of these very exciting and slightly mysterious uncles who the little one will be enthralled by!) What fun all this will be! I do hope Ma and Pa will be pleased. I know it's a little left-field but I like to think of M and P as modern, forward-thinking people and hope they will embrace the idea.

ps. There was a slightly frosty atmosphere between Natalie and Loretta but it thawed after my news and I hope they will be able to resolve their issues in time.

Holy Cow!


To:pippa@weekendbirdie
From:natalie@nataliespooner.com
RE:re: News

Holy cow! I'll see you later. Salman and Zadie can wait!

Oh fiddle-de-dee



TO:pippa@weekendbirdie
FROM:
natalie@nataliespooner.com
RE:News

Oh fiddle-de-dee, can't you just tell me the news now? I don't really need to sit in a bar with crazy Loretta shooting me evils all night after that whole dada poem episode. And I'm having dinner with Salman and Zadie later (Grrr...Zadie Smith, my arch enemy) so I'd only have time for the one Mohair Russian anyway and what's the point in that?

Natalie Spooner
Author

Interlude: Let's celebrate!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The blessing

Well, it seems I underestimated Ludo Jansdotter. I told him the news last night and this is what he said (while reading this, imagine him squeezing my hand a bit too hard and quietly weeping. Oh, and a strong Scandinavian accent):

"My Pippa this must be a dream! All this time I was thinking: 'Pippa is too work-centric, Pippa is too party-centric, she is a too silly girl.' But now I see you in a different light. You are my Madonna, my beautiful pregnant Madonna, mother of my child!

If it is a boy we call it Magnus. If it is a girl we call it Irmeline. And whichever, we must enrol in Baby Parkour immediately, the waiting list is very long I hear."

Well..who knew. It seems I don't know Ludo Jansdotter all that well after all. I suppose we have spent quite a lot of time apart.

Gosh, I'm going to have a baby! What a blessing!



ps. By the way, no daughter of mine will be called Irmeline.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Further delaying tactics

Dum-di-dum-di-dum...Hey! Look at this gorgeous Figgjo vase on ebay!
Oh, alright! I'll tell him tomorrow.






Pippa!



To:pippa@weekendbirdie

FROM:celine@bicyclettebleu
RE:Pippa!

Pippa! Stop in denial! You must to indicate Ludo Jansdotter!

More delaying tactics

I'm thinking of painting my sitting room a warm, dusky sage.


This is my sitting room now: sunbleached driftwood 2.





and this is a warm, dusky sage.


Be careful what you wish for...

I suppose I should tell Ludo Jansdotter at some point.
My goodness, I know I was feeling a tad melancholy about Celine and then Tony and then bloody MdlC but this is not exactly what I envisaged.

I'm a career woman of the highest order! A photographer! An editor! A collector of mid-century Norwegian pottery! I'm on the board of the Hal Hartley Appreciation Society! Holder of the British Ukelele Songbook Award! My Progressive Urdu level 3 exam is in 2 weeks!
It's folly i tell you, pure folly!

Of course I will tell Ludo Jansdotter...but not just yet.

Friday, January 12, 2007

RE: re: Congratulations from Celine xxx



To:pippa@weekendbirdie

FROM:celine@bicyclettebleu
RE:re:re:Congratulations!!!


Yes I see what you say. He is man of the world, always busy – people, people, people; things, things, things; work, work, work. But the clock it goes tick-tock you know for man also. Ludo Jansdotter is very much in love with you, he indicates Pfeiffer at the party for Yo Beowulf. He was very drunk but in the vin the vérité non?

RE: Congratulations from Celine xxx



To:pippa@weekendbirdie

FROM:celine@bicyclettebleu
RE:re:Congratulations!!!


What? That Ludo Jansdotter does not know these news yet? Do you joke? You must say to him! Pippa!

Congratulations from Celine's mum xxx

To:pippa@weekendbirdie
FROM:claudette@soireeclub.net
RE:Congratulations!!!


Chere Pippa, congratulation my darling! These is marvellous news. You know that I always remember time you came to Paris; you were on my threshold with juste a bagpack of Invicta! Now you are woman!
Come and visit soon, whereas you can still fly.

The regards to your parents.
Claudette
X

Congratulations from Celine xxx










To:pippa@weekendbirdie

FROM:celine@bicyclettebleu
RE:Congratulations!!!


Wow! which is news fantastique! What Ludo Jansdotter does indicate? Is it happy? Oh now you can join to me in my insane world!
Oh dear, now I become emotive, thinking of you and me in Paris when 14 years old. You had just the escape the house and you upwards turned on my doorstep avec juste your invicta bagpack. My mother always speaks about this! She will be so happy. Can I tell to her?
Ah Pippa, now you are woman!

Soignoise,

Celine
xxxxxx

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Delaying tactics

Dum-di-dum-di-dum...I'm thinking of switching the Weekend Birdie body font from gill sans to trebuchet. What do you think?


Cheese-Schmeese

Well...when a girl can't even get into her boyfriend jeans, you know something's up. It turns out it wasn't the cheese after all; I seem to be pregnant with Ludo Jansdotter's baby.

It's bloody cohesive, that's what it is!

No idea how Ludo Jansdotter is going to deal with an accoutrement of this magnitude - he's only just got used to his Prada man-bag.

Anyway, no great shakes, must crack on. Meeting Parker Posey in half an hour for gluten-free cupcakes at the Bake-a-boo bake shop and tea room, NW6.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Issue 11 checklist

Still feeling nauseous. Haven't felt this bad since I spent NYE on a fishing boat with Ludo Jansdotter shouting "Yeah!" and punching the air every time a firework went off. I'm not good on water.
Anyway, must soldier on; got to go through the Issue 11 checklist or I'll miss the print deadline.


Tomma Abts Q&A - check!
Behind the scenes with Belle & Bunty - check!
Yellow clog interview and photo story - check!
Directional fashion shoot: androgynous women in men's underwear - check!
Graziella's novelty blurb 'Zine-Gal' - check!
Jaunty text angles - check!
Hal Hartley retrospective - check!
Random stills of Jane Birkin - check!
What's hot and what's not zeitgeisty-list-type-thing - check!
Directional fashion shoot: featuring Lovefoxxx from CSS - check!
Feature: Cave Spooner unleashed
- check!
Feature: Thrift-store shopping with Maribel de las Casas
- check!
Review of the Scandi Design Festival
- check!
Ludo Jansdotter illustrations - check!
Sofia Coppola photo montage - check!

Pheeeewww!
Oh dear, it's happening again, these horrid cramps and nausea. Must go and see Dr Lim.

A bad cheese day

Feeling in a melange today.
I've been asked to do a show of my photographs at the ICA later in the year, which is only the pinnacle of cool and will drive Rolf+Margot mad with jealousy, since neither of them has a talent other than thinking up kooky ideas for their pretentious rag. So for that, I am elated.
Unfortunately, physically I feel dreadful. Was sick all night after that Cheese Appreciation class last night. Who invented cheese and wine evenings? Wholly unwise.
Ludo Jansdotter was very sweet; he mopped my brow and stroked my hair. He's really such a kind man.

In other news, Nancy is still staying with me which is slightly awkward with Ludo Jansdotter around so much. She's loopy over Pedro but she still can't help flirting her socks off with L.J. I think he finds it all rather embarrassing.
Nancy and I are starting to rub each other up the wrong way; she always asks such inane questions. This morning she asked me if you can use body moisturiser on your face.
I said "No Nancy; if you use it on your face, your arm will start growing out of your forehead like a Jake and Dinos Chapman installation." She said "Ooh, sarcasm's the lowest form of wit you know!" I said "Well ya boo and sucks to you!" She said "You, you mean!" which made no sense.

A definite cheese night

I'm feeling a bit down today. You know when I said I was going to put all that Celine/Tony Novembre stuff out of my head and enjoy the moment? Well that was before this happened:

To:pippa@weekendbirdie
From:maribel-de-las-casas@vavavoom
RE:big news!!!!!

hola
i have big news p. so exciting i must to tell you now. esteban propose me - yes, i cannot believe! we went my parent house for the christmas lunch and esteban family also came - his mother, his father, his sister and baby - yes she has baby now. she is so crazy and make big scandal in the family. she never marry the father of the baby and esteban thinks maybe father is the circus guy from when she was doing trapeze in praga. anyway all crazy but cutting the story esteban on the middle of the lunch suddenly make speech and propose me. of course i say yes and all the family very happy. i feel like he sweep my feet (correct? i remember this expression from school) and i feel so happy.
anyway we want marry on beach and i ask celine to sing some jazz. maybe you can take the photo. we don't know what day will be the wedding but we have many planning to do now.
oh pippa so happy and excited.
i'm coming to london soon for va va voom - some WAG say she like my collection - what is WAG? so we can drink cocktails together celebrating.
life is so crazy
besitos
bel
xx


Now I'm glummer than glum can be so I'm off to Cheese Appreciation tonight for some comfort eating.

Deconstruction Issue 12

Deconstruction 12 'The Sound Issue' came out today. The magazine is completely blank, even the cover. You download the MP3 and flick through while 'listening' to the pages.

I'm a little bit jealous. Although I wouldn't take Weekend Birdie down this particular conceptual avenue, it's awfully interesting and the movers and shakers in the ICA bookshop-type-magazine world will be watercoolering it for weeks.

Welcome home Pippa. Huff.